all sparkly and shit

The Sparkly Guide to All Things Yesburgers This Week.

Hey youuuuu guuuuuuuys!  Another week here at the Teschke/Ray household, filled with things to do and places to go – but why is it that ALL I want to do is sleep?!  Oh, I know why – because the weather is getting warmer, which brings out the chipper Charlie in everyone.  And although I can enjoy a balmy Spring breeze like everyone else, I’d prefer to do it from my bed and only after 10 am.  Anything before that, and I’m a huge bitch – just ask Tom.  Okay, not all of the time, my coworkers would probably beg to differ, but that’s all a facade.  Riding the subway at 8:45am, all I want to do is eat everyone’s soul, whether I have my happy face on or not, because I’m not in my happy place:


Late morning sun in the windows, hitting the snooze button for the 5th time, with Peeber on my butt.  Only I look about .01% as good as La Hepburn.  I’ve always wanted those earring earplugs and that sleep mask…

But once I got my ass out of bed this week, the weather was nice enough that a run wasn’t TOO grating on the soul.  It doesn’t hurt that I FINALLY used my gift certificate to the schmancy running store that Dad got me for my birthday for a new pair of speedy, cushy kicks!


They don’t make running any easier, but they make it shinier, and that’s almost as good, right?  Usually, the ‘whomp whomp, you have flat, wide feet that overpronate like crazy’ running shoes are simultaneously the most expensive and UGLIEST sneaks in the store.  As I expected, these set me back $170 (*choke*) with the insoles I ‘needed’, but at least they’re not ugly!  Woot!  Now, to break them in… Yuck.

Of course, there has also been shopping, my other cardio, some of which went down at good old Marshalls where I scored the Ciate Feathered Manicure Set for 60% off!


Pumped to try it – keep an eye on my Instagram for results in the next few days!  Hopefully I won’t screw it up too badly.  The other MAJ score of the week is from, one of my favorite shopping destinations.  I have been searching and SEARCHING for a cherry red bag, big enough for everyday but small enough to be practical, in really yummy leather, at an affordable price.  After months of looking…


HELLO, LOVER.  A Rebecca Minkoff Mini MAC crossbody in Scarlet – personalized!  I got discount on top of discount on this baby, and with an old gift card left over from Christmas, this baby is MINE for very little green.  Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed!

One of my other obsessions that I’ve written about before is The Anchored Inn, a grungy dive bar around the corner from our place with a metal venue next door that leaks insane live grindcore & thrash metal into the main bar, which has good, cheap beer, ridic cheese fries, and walls full of amazing velvet paintings, like this one of two dogs that Maria and I OBVI had to recreate:


It’s a really lovely shot of the two of us, don’t you think?  Headshots, maybe?!  We’ve never looked better, IMHO.

New York spring air is ACTUALLY lovely, bringing with it every year, without fail, the Mister Softee truck jingle.  Now, I grew up with ice cream trucks that just played general children’s songs, but once you’re here, you learn this jingle SO quickly, because it is EVERYWHERE.  And now, after 9 YEARS in this city, I learned that it has LYRICS!  WHAT?!  I KNOW!!!

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Now we can’t stop singing it around the house constantly, which made an already annoying ditty infinitely more so.  Not to mention that I crave a twist soft serve cone constantly now.  …probs can’t blame that on the jingle, it’s really nothing new.  Sigh.

As for more adult treats, we recently discovered an AMAZING speakeasy connected to one of our favorite dinner spots in our hood (I’m not telllllliiiiiing…) that serves up some dope ass cocktails.  I went for bartender’s choice on our most recent visit, chose tequila as the spirit and citrus and spice for flavor, and got this beauty.  He called it the Tequila Breakfast.


Y’all.  O. M. G.  Muddled cucumber, fresh lemon and orange juices, tequila (duh), and a splash of bitters and Sriracha, garnished with salt, pepper, and a cucumber slice.  Savory, sweet, spicy, everything.  Whoa.  Epic.  No words.  Had two.  Stumbled home.  S0.  Yesburgers.

You know what’s NOT yesburgers, in fact it’s NOburgers?  Walking from our place to the UPS Distribution Center in Maspeth (?!?) because it’s so far out there that there are NO TRAINS ANYWHERE NEAR IT to pick up our Easter package.  On the Monday after Easter.


And so, with no car and no bikes (we’ve got to fix that soon) we walked for AN HOUR to this creepy ass UPS center in the middle of what seems like the world’s biggest (and sidewalk-less) industrial park in Bunghole, Queens to pick up our package from Tom’s parents, which they attempted to deliver three times (attempted is the kindest word I can use, this person is a total fail when it comes to their job) and then sent to this no man’s land for a pair of hipsters to sweat through their skinny jeans and ironic tees and army jackets while traversing the wilds of the outer boroughs to get to.  But, we prevailed, the box was procured,


and the loooooong walk back was sweetened by Malley’s Snow Wafers and the epic breakfast we consumed at our dear, dear Jimmy’s Diner, because HOMEMADE TOTS.


LOOK at those beauties, all round and huge and soft inside, a cross between a potato pancake and a classic tot that is unlike ANY other tot you’ve had.  Tot.  Tots.  Tot.  That word has ceased to make sense because I’ve used it so many times.  Anyway – if you’re in our area of Brooklyn, go to Jimmy’s Diner, preferably after a VERY LONG WALK to offset the cals, and eat your face off.  Tots.

Something else I love in Williamsburg and Bushwick?  The graffiti.  This mural is one of my absolute favorites:


and it doesn’t hurt that two of my favorites are in front of it!  Aren’t the colors amazing?  My favorite face is the bottom right corner, the second one up – the one with pink and orange teeth.  He seems pretty cool.

And finally, on one of my commutes home from Manicure Land, I was riding the train and saw this gem.  Obviously, I had to take a pic.


because #wintourisover after that Kimye cover, even if Grace Coddington was the one who really pushed for it, and even though my salon had such a lovely writeup in that issue!  And even if Wintour isn’t over, Winter is.  So bring on your Mister Softee trucks, your long walks and short runs, balmy nights out and about at our favorite spots, and sunshine in the windows.

I’ll do my best not to hate Summer.  I promise.


This entry was published on April 30, 2014 at 1:39 pm. It’s filed under Randomz and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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